Quicksand (2023) | REVIEW

Directed by Andres Beltran — Screenplay by Matt Pitts.

I know there is a belief among some that all critics enjoy endlessly spewing hatred toward films that they dislike. I think the truth isn’t that simple. I can say that disliking a film frustrates and/or disappoints me quite a bit. The reason why negative reviews from critics may often sound more hyperbolic, ‘colorful,’ or invested than reviews of, say, mediocre films is because actively disliking something is a powerful emotion, while most films don’t inspire the kind of passion that actively liking or disliking something does. When you dislike something, then you know immediately what bothers you about it, and it’s much easier to get it onto the page than with a frustrating but merely underwhelming flick. So, rest assured that I take no please in saying this, but… I think Andres Beltran’s Quicksand is one of the worst films of 2023.

For whatever reason, I’ve been drawn towards these survival thrillers set in limited locations recently. I’ve watched Max Erlenwein’s The Dive and Scott Mann’s Fall in the last few days and neither of them was particularly good or memorable, but, on the other hand, neither of them was as shockingly ineffective as Beltran’s Colombia-set survival thriller is. Not only did it occasionally put the person that I watched the film with to sleep, but it also constantly baffled me by how often it would waste a halfway decent idea by executing it poorly. This is a film that doesn’t have the worst premise in the world, but, beyond the premise (which may get people to dip their toes in), everything else drags the film down. 

Again, there is a halfway decent idea here: a married couple contemplating divorce (played by Carolina Gaitan and Allan Hawco) is stuck in quicksand and has to battle the elements and actually communicate to survive and, potentially, see eye to eye in the process. That’s the central idea that I think works wonderfully as an opening premise. Unfortunately, Quicksand fumbles the allure of that basic premise every step of the way. It all starts with the writing. The dialogue that TV-writer Matt Pitts (I like some of the shows that he has worked on, so I’m not using TV-writer as a pejorative) leaves a lot to be desired. The bickering isn’t particularly interesting, and, especially in their first scenes at the hotel, the film features so much expositional dialogue that it sticks out like a sore thumb.

In addition to this, the central characters are set up to be smart individuals (I believe Carolina Gaitan’s ‘Sofia’ is meant to have a medical degree), but they make the most idiotic decisions time and time again. When you pair the constant bickering with the inauthentic and unconvincing acting, as well as some of the most stupid decision-making I’ve seen in a film in quite some time, then you have a film that it’s easier to roll your eyes at than stay invested in. These characters knowingly endanger themselves on their hike, they run without watching where they’re going, and they do all of the things you’re told not to do in a situation like theirs (e.g. jumping directly into the quicksand because the other person decided to throw a temper tantrum with her whole body knowing full well that such behavior is exactly what every film about this survival gimmick has tried to teach us not to do). One of them even has a hero complex that sees him confront a thief, endanger his and his wife’s lives by attacking someone who has them at gunpoint, and then, after having successfully knocked the thief to the ground, they run directly into Las Arenas, even though they could literally overpower the assailant, grab his gun, and be over with it all. It’s infuriating. 

Are there moments with inspired filmmaking? Sure, there is an instant where one of the characters uses the blade of a knife as a reflective surface and we do get to see the perspective of a snake. But these scenes are just poorly executed, with those perspective scenes being unevenly paced (while the perspective of the snake is sometimes seen to move quite quickly — though not with the speed of a Sam Raimi-esque Evil Dead long take through the woods — when we actually see the snake, it moves slowly). Speaking of snakes, I also think the film fails to get enough out of its location (it almost looks like they could just immediately pull themselves up with the weaponry they’ve been left with) and the wildlife around them. The film drags, the creatures never scare, and it all becomes quite repetitive. The person that I was watching the film with remarked that even though the film was not even 90 minutes long, it felt like the film was twice that long. “It felt like it was as long as Oppenheimer,” he said.

Look, at the end of the day, a lot of enthusiastic filmmakers and actors set out to make a survival thriller about a classic B-movie element that used to be all over films back in the day, and we should applaud that attempt. Still, unfortunately, the film itself doesn’t have any strong elements that can pull it out of the trouble it finds itself in. Andres Beltran’s Quicksand might have found more success if it had leaned more into the unintentionally funny moments in the film itself, frankly. I take no pleasure in stating that Quicksand is an unconvincing, boring, and poorly executed dud. I hope that the filmmakers and actors land on their feet after this and get to do something that better highlights their talents.

2 out of 10

– Review Written by Jeffrey Rex Bertelsen.