In this edition of Additional Bite-Sized Reviews, I give you my thoughts on 1) an iconic film that I struggled with, 2) a strange passion project from a genuine pop star, 3) the debut film of one of Britain’s finest auteurs, 4) one of last year’s best animated films, and, finally, 5) a horror film that didn’t work for me.
F.A.Q.
- What are Additional Bite-Sized Reviews?
– My movie and television catch-up review series ‘Additional Bite-Sized Reviews‘ is an evolution of the Overview-article section previously titled ‘What I Didn’t Write About.’ In articles such as this one, I will provide my readers with my thoughts on select new films, new shows, or even classics that I feel like giving my thoughts on relatively briefly, since I don’t have the time to dedicate thorough reviews to them at this point in time. - Why do the bite-sized reviews not include either a letter grade or a review score?
– In my full and thorough reviews, I like to score or grade what I watch. But since these reviews aren’t as detailed, I think it is fairer to the films and shows to simply just decide whether or not to recommend them. I guess you could say this is the only type of review that is basically ‘scored’ with the classic thumbs-up/thumbs-down-method on my site, though sometimes my recommendation answer comes with a caveat.
This Is Me… Now: A Love Story | Film | Directed by Dave Meyers | Screenplay by Jennifer Lopez and Matt Walton | Release Year: 2024 | Recommended?: No.
So, this was a lot weirder, sillier, and more sentimental than I expected it to be. Released alongside, and based on, Jennifer Lopez’s latest album, This is Me… Now: A Love Story is a stylized narrative that both tells of star-crossed, astrological sign-connected lovers and, what is essentially, a fictional retelling of Jennifer Lopez’s love life. I feel like this could’ve been fine if it cut out all of the dialogue and split it into individual music videos. At times, it certainly looks fine. But as a visual album, this feels like a vanity project from someone who is a little bit too high on their own supply to understand when to hold back. There are occasionally decent music video-style visuals, but the visual film as a whole doesn’t do a good job of making an argument for the songs being particularly memorable.
Kudos on getting a huge company like Amazon to pay for this, but this is borderline incoherent and has so many WTF moments that it’s hard to believe this is an actual thing that exists and that someone other than the artist thinks was a good idea. Like, there’s an entire zodiacal council of random individuals (Post Malone, Trevor Noah, Sofia Vergara, Jane Fonda, KeKe Palmer, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, etc.) whose only concern is having JLo find love. It’s a weird one. And those elements bring down everything that was kinda, sorta good here like the song where she meets a younger version of herself and sings “This Is Me… Now.”
But, hey, I hope ‘JLo’ had fun. Also, Ben Affleck got to say “why my poop green?” while wearing prosthetics as a newsreader, so there’s that.
Sophie’s Choice | Film | Directed by Alan J. Pakula | Screenplay by Alan J. Pakula | Release Year: 1982 | Recommended?: Not really.
Cultural osmosis has made it so everyone knows what the titular selection is all about. It has even made its way into the English language. It is now this common phrase that can be applied to basically anything to indicate that something is a very difficult choice. But I think most people who only know precisely that much about this film, or the book that it is based on, will be shocked by what this film actually is.
I expected a devastating prestige drama all about the Holocaust. I did not expect it to contain a frame story about an American bloke named ‘Stingo’ from the South and his (and I quote) “relentless, all-consuming horniness.” Almost everything about the Stingo-frame story in that first hour was jaw-droppingly baffling to me, and I never warmed to his narration. The scene that the title references is very well made and traumatic, and, yes, Meryl Streep delivers an acting masterclass of a performance in this one (and deservedly won the Oscar). When the film focuses on Streep’s Sophie and her story, it is much more appropriate for the film and thus better. I should also say that Kevin Kline is quite good in his first film role.
But, man, this one really took me by surprise in ways I never could have imagined. I’m really surprised this is in the AFI Top 100 given the Stingo frame story of it all. It just feels inappropriate to frontload the film with a lustful American South writer in what is, essentially, a traumatic Holocaust narrative. Maybe it works better in the book.
Sexy Beast | Film | Directed by Jonathan Glazer | Screenplay by Louis Mellis and David Scinto | Release Year: 2001 | Recommended?: Yes.
Jonathan Glazer’s Sexy Beast follows a retired British criminal nicknamed Gal (played by Ray Winstone) who has moved to Spain to get away from his old life. However, when, one day, an old associate of his — the sociopathic Don Logan (played by Ben Kingsley) — stops by his abode in Spain and incessantly or threateningly asks him about coming back for one last job, he realizes that maybe his past is one that he can’t so easily run away from.
I had been meaning, and I wanted, to watch this for so long. But, if I’m being honest, I think the poster and the title of the film kind of kept me from watching it, as it didn’t exactly look or sound like the kind of film that I had heard it was. To me, though, Jonathan Glazer is a stellar filmmaker, whose last two features are incredible art film masterpieces, and so I was really curious about his debut film.
And what a firecracker of a film it is. It has a brilliant dark comedy crime script about retiring from an activity that’ll always hang over you, it features notable and distinctive stylistic touches here and there, it has moments of really sharp editing, and it features three outstanding performances from Ray Winstone, Ian McShane, and Sir Ben Kingsley all at the top of their game. Their note-perfect deliveries help to make this such a gripping film.
Kingsley’s performance as an irritating and insisting criminal with zero filter rightfully earned him nominations far and wide, as he completely disappears into the role with a voice and manner of speaking that turns it into a great distinctive performance of the highest order that is both hilarious and disturbing in glimpses. I love that the Academy even nominated him for an Oscar, and it would’ve been a memorable win.
Glazer’s Sexy Beast is a brilliantly engaging, short, and sweet crime comedy. It’s far more accessible than his two most recent masterpieces, but it is still pretty effective. I’m a fan.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles | Film | Directed by Jeff Rowe | Screenplay by Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Jeff Rowe, Dan Hernandez, and Benji Samit | Release Year: 2023 | Recommended?: Yes.
In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, we get another introduction to the four famous teenage turtles, as they — Donatello (voiced by Micah Abbey), Michelangelo (voiced by Shamon Brown, Jr.), Raphael (voiced by Brady Noon), and Leonardo (voiced by Nicolas Cantu) — befriend April O’Neil (voiced by Ayo Edebiri) and become invested in stopping the crimes committed by the so-called ‘superfly’ (voiced by Ice Cube).
Do you know that feeling when you watch something and you just know that if you had seen this as a kid, then it would’ve been one of your favorite movies? This is definitely one of those films. I adored the TMNT as a kid, but I don’t know that I’ve ever loved a TMNT film as much as I instantly loved this.
The youthful exuberance of the main quartet is so charming and likable, it’s some of the best voice work in any animated film from last year. I also took a liking to both Ice Cube and Paul Rudd’s voice work, with the latter’s character being an instant favorite. They do a good job of creating likable distinct personalities, and my personal favorite (I’m a Leonardo guy) is treated nicely.
The visuals are obviously inspired by the Spider-Verse visuals, and I think those visuals work very well for the film. The writing and vibes are very close to that of The Mitchells vs. The Machines (it, of course, also used the Spider-Verse style), which makes sense since Jeff Rowe, Mutant Mayhem‘s director, was a co-writer on The Mitchells.
The infectious energy and incredibly charming character writing and voice work, when paired with its exciting and modern style and a nostalgic soundtrack, make for an utter delight through and through. Absolutely loved this.
Elevator Game | Film | Directed by Rebekah McKendry | Screenplay by David Ian McKendry and Travis Seppala | Release Year: 2023 | Recommended?: No.
In Rebekah McKendry’s Elevator Game, we follow a group of young paranormal investigative YouTubers, as they — based on their intern’s suggestion — attempt to record a so-called elevator game to test if it holds any water. Recently, a young woman supposedly disappeared after testing the urban legend, and now the YouTubers are trying to test the game itself and wring out every possible drop of entertainment from a game set inside of an elevator. And, as it turns out, one of the YouTubers knew the woman who had tested it and has since gone missing.
I don’t want to be too hard on this as it is clearly a low-budget horror movie, but, at the same time, I also have to call it like I see it. And what I see is a pretty shoddy effort built around a premise that could’ve worked. Although one character — one of the members of the film’s YouTube group of paranormal investigators — repeatedly insists that there’s nothing terribly exciting about seeing characters go from floor to floor inside of an elevator, the film’s relatively decent opening prologue proves otherwise. The rest of the film, unfortunately, never works as well as that opening did.
Also, if you’ve ever seen actual YouTube videos about paranormal investigating (like, say, the Buzzfeed Unsolved/Watcher guys’ videos or Garrett Watts’ videos), then you know that half of the fun in these types of channels are the YouTubers’ personalities. And, well, most of this film’s YouTuber characters are obnoxious or played-out, thinly drawn archetypes (you don’t believe for a second that this is a channel that could thrive in that space). The actors, some of whom overact a fair bit, are saddled with a script that has a weak, unsatisfying ending but also occasionally atrocious dialogue that every so often will have you roll your eyes out of how contrived, illogical, or inaccurate moments feel. The film also features a sometimes poorly lit visual expression, and it lacks effective scares.
If you’re looking for a better horror film about a spooky elevator, then seek out John Erick Dowdle’s Devil, which, despite not being particularly great, is a lot more effective in pretty much every way.
If, however, you’re looking for a genuinely great horror film about dare-culture and online trends, then Talk To Me is the film to go with.
– Reviews Written by Jeffrey Rex Bertelsen.
I'm Jeffrey Rex 